I am going thru a very weird phase right now.
Almost all my friends are either getting married or planning to get hitched soon. Wait that is not the part that confunds me (or maybe it does.. i am not so sure... )
The confusion crops from the fact that many of these are searching (or have searched) brides / grooms through matrimonial sites and or some family ties.
In short i am talking about arranged marriages at this point.
Arranged marriage - i find the word an absolute joke.... (i think i do... )
The whole idea is beyond me. searching for someone so that you can :-
a) full fill the age old tradition of "settling down" whatever that means
b) full filling the "expectations" of parents (or is it really the expectations of numerous so called relatives whom your parents have to answer to).
c) Find someone suitable to be with you for the rest of your life, irrespective of the fact that you forced yourself to love someone because hmmmmm i am not sure why....
the list is endless so i will leave it at that.
I wish i could get a handle on the whole damned subject.
Well this is still not the part that makes me absolutely confused. It is or seems completely wrong to start with.
When i say wrong, what i mean is we see or search people (by we here i mean people who do so) on all wrong criteria. Things that shouldn't really matter, become paramount, in fact more than that, they become the basis of the whole crazy search.
Things like - caste, religion, looks, work, money, educational background, financial status, financial assets etc. become all there is to a person.
Things that should matter take a backseat, things like - is he/she a good person, is he/she going to love me for me and many more really important things, that make a relationship into what it should be can’t be quantified and hence aren't looked into much.
I just don't get it.
Funniest thing is most of these people seem happy after such "arranged knots"(Dont get me wrong, i am glad they seem happy). So i wonder sometimes, if it is me who has it all wrong. Am i completely mistaken if i think love is what should be "the" basis of a marriage, the whole idea of wanting to live with someone the rest of your life, devoting your future and asking the same from someone should be based on love alone and the kind of love that is not enforced, not brought into picture because the "age is right" or its "getting to late in life to settle down" or because "society demands it".
So please help me understand....................
